Coin Battle
by kennycashewnut
Summary: Mario and Luigi decide saving the Princess has gotten old. So they decide to make a deal with Browser. Rated M for progressive, pain, and puns. Don't read if you don't like dark humor. noncon. And please, review.


Coin Battle

"That is it Luigi, I'm sick of saving her!" Mario yelled in.

"Oh, Thank Star. I thought that for 6 games now. So we can go home?" Luigi responded.

"No we have to get her."

"Why?" Mario had no answer for his brother, years of saving the Princess and now he realizes that there was never a reason. "Mario?" Luigi was frightened by his silent brother.

"Okay here's the deal, we need to talk to Browser." Mario finally awake. But what in, Star's name was he planning. After severely levels and stages of killing Koopas, they had finally reached the final level. Before Browser made his evil speech Mario cried out. "Why?"

"What do you mine why?" Browser responded. This was going better then Mario thought.

"Why do you want the Princess?"

"Isn't that obvious I want her to be my coin slave. Now die-"

Mario interrupted. "Okay."

"What?" Browser said.

"What?" Luigi seconded.

"What? We don't need her, the kingdom will run just fine with Daisy." Mario answered his brother and enemy.

"But we never got to 1-up her, on 2-player like we always dreamed."

"Wait? You guys never collected coins with her. I always thought you did it after I fell." Said Browser.

"Nope." Luigi explained. "She has been keeping her levels saved. No Mushrooms in her slots."

"Oh… Well now I feel bad for trying to kill you guys. See I was jealous of you always,.. Well I thought you were." Browser tried glossing over the fact his entire adult life has been an endless task of slot snatching. Even though they were getting as much as him.

"You know what. Were all mad at Peach right now, right?" Everyone agreed with Mario. "And I bet you'll want to get back at Princess Peach?" His guess was correct both men were eager to her his solution. "Let's coin battle her."

"On 4-player with, 2 other guys, that gross." Luigi protested.

"I'm in, beats falling into lava." Browser announce. While Mario was convincing his brother. Browser went back to release Princess Peach.

"Release me! Mario will save me and you'll be sorry!" She yelled but it was music to his ears. She heard nothing. He sent a message out to Mario and Luigi via flying koopa. "What are you planning?" She called out.

Browser laughed, "This!" Browser roared as he ripped of all Peach's clothes revealing a plum pale young body. Star only knows how she kept it so over the years. Browser place his hand to her neck. "Believe me, Mario is coming. But not to save you."

He slammed her to the floor, knocking the wind from her lungs. "You don't know how long I've waited to coin you." His voice was low but her screams were high. In didn't faze he what so ever. He separate her legs and entered her body with his Super Mushroom. "Oh Star, my first coin."

At first he was slow collecting the one at a time but after his 7th he was speed playing. "No! NO! NO! NOT WITH YOU!" Princess Peach yelled. Browser looked down to see blood from her Slot 1.

"This is your first collection to." He leaned over to her ears. "Great, we'll 1-up together." Browser whisper ever so lovingly.

"How could you Browser?" Mario declared.

"Mario, Luigi. I told you they'd come." Peach yell with excitement.

"Yea, so did I." Browser said with a smile.

"See, were mad that he would start collecting coins without us." Mario and Luigi stripped down to their shirts exposing their semi-Super Mushrooms. "We're suppose to be coin battling."

"What?" Princess Peach was frightened.

"Browser some room." Mario asked.

"Oh. How rude of me." Browser joked. He then pulled out to turn her over. Peach tried to run off. But he caught her. "It's not over yet." Browser declare as he shove his Super Mushroom into her Slot-2. "So good."

"It better be." Mario slid under Peach and enter her Slot-1. "Damn that is good."

"Alright my turn." Luigi tried forcing his Super Mushroom into her mouth. But she put up to much of a fight. "She won't let me In"

"Try slapping her." Mario offered as he and Browser violated Peach. Luigi did. But it was to light. But she didn't open. "What was that?" Mario joked.

"Allow me." Browser offered. He then rapped one hand around Peach's throat casing her to gasp for air. "Good now let him in you. And if you're a problem. I'll slap you this time." She Obeyed him and Luigi took his reward. "Guys, I'm about to 1-up."

"Me Too. Mamma Mia" Mario second.

"Me Three." Luigi Third. And in a moments notice all three 1-upped, their Boos leaked out of both Peach's Slots. And her mouth. But it wasn't over. "You know Browser you've been so nice how about you finish collecting her coins." Luigi offered.

Browser smiled with childish glee. "Really?"

"No." Mario interrupted. "We'll finish this how we started, together."

Browser smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Let's coin this n00b" With that he entered Peach's Slot-1 with Mario. And they coin battled her so hard, when Peach 1-upped she shoot out 2 Fire Flowers and a Red Mushroom. Both flowers hit Luigi automatically making his soften Mushroom, into a Flaming hot one. Mario regained power as well. But Browser was to weak, so he fell over. And Luigi took his place inside her Slot-2.

"Yea just like our dream." Mario declared.

"Better!" Luigi yelled out. But soon after Mario 1-upped and ran out of juice. He begged to Star for more, but he wasn't answered. So he joined Browser in watching his young brother coin collect with the, beloved, Prince. "Yahoo!"

The End.


End file.
